Porthemmet Beach
Completely fictitious beach located on the Mediterranean coast of Cornwall!
"Situated in north Cornwall, Porthemmet is the largest beach in the county. Due to an influx from the Gulf Stream, Porthemmet has very warm waters and looks more like a tropical paradise than a beach in the UK"
The name is derived from the Cornish words porth and emmet and translates as porth of the emmet!
For more info head to the Porthemmet Beach official website
Type of beach
Sandy
Lifeguard service
The original cast of Bay Watch still work here!
Dogs friendly beach?
Dogs allowed (but only nice ones)
OS grid ref.
SW 7452 6205
Facilities
Nanny Ogg's Pasty Shop serves a mean pasty and rumor has it Rick Stein and Jamie Oliver are opening a beach cafe here
Porthemmet Beach Reviews
Ok for Curdles (my insulting name for Cornish folk!)
Joe Northern
Nov 05th 2021You lot stay down there, us northerners will stay up here & spend our money locally. You think you’re so smart taking the piss, your only form of income is from tourism. I would love to see how you inbreds cope if “normal people” stayed away!
Gidget
Oct 04th 2021Best beach bar none. Always sunny and warm, never rains and the welcome is to die for, as is the surf. Never any wind either. Very easy to find, the directions and maps are great. Love the fact that nudists are welcome, so educational for the children.
Do not miss this beach!
Gurt lush!
Jethro Tool
Mar 05th 2021So luvvy that I wrote a song about it!
https://themangledwurzels.bandcamp.com/track/porthemmet
Great fishing
tim newcombe
Jan 21st 2021Have had some of the best catches here from Cod, Turbot and Tope.
Fish low tide in use blow lug
Amazing beach
Perfect for visitors, free Kelly’s ice cream all day, great for kids and dogs
Simply the best
I’ve never heard anyone complaining about litter on the beach.
Nudist Paradise
Walter Wall
Aug 27th 2020Best nudist beach in the country with miles of golden sand
Optical delusion.
Janner
Aug 27th 2020Yous buggers ave been tellin fibs. It’s not real is it?