Porthemmet Beach

Porthemmet Beach
© Cornwall Beaches
Last updated:

Completely fictitious beach located on the Mediterranean coast of Cornwall!

"Situated in north Cornwall, Porthemmet is the largest beach in the county. Due to an influx from the Gulf Stream, Porthemmet has very warm waters and looks more like a tropical paradise than a beach in the UK"

The name is derived from the Cornish words porth and emmet and translates as porth of the emmet!

For more info head to the Porthemmet Beach official website

Type of beach


Lifeguard service

The original cast of Bay Watch still work here!

Dogs friendly beach?

Dogs allowed (but only nice ones)

dog friendly beaches »

OS grid ref.

SW 7452 6205


Nanny Ogg's Pasty Shop serves a mean pasty and rumor has it Rick Stein and Jamie Oliver are opening a beach cafe here

Porthemmet Beach Reviews (16)

Gurt lush!

Jethro Tool

Mar 05th 2021

So luvvy that I wrote a song about it!

Sense of Humour Bypass


May 15th 2022

Some really bitter comments on here from folk who don’t get the joke. FYI also tourism is not the main source of income in Cornwall, that would be fishing and farming, thousands of people in Cornwall have no connection to tourism.


Oct 04th 2021

Best beach bar none. Always sunny and warm, never rains and the welcome is to die for, as is the surf. Never any wind either. Very easy to find, the directions and maps are great. Love the fact that nudists are welcome, so educational for the children.
Do not miss this beach!

Amazing beach

Sep 14th 2020

Perfect for visitors, free Kelly’s ice cream all day, great for kids and dogs

Optical delusion.


Aug 27th 2020

Yous buggers ave been tellin fibs. It’s not real is it?

DFL Emmet

Jan 12th 2024

Please take the piss out of us emmets for as long as you want.

No negatives from Bob

Talskiddy Bob

Jul 05th 2023

Great food on top of the headland, a local treat,chips from the Morrish’s mobile van.  Great spot to catch crabs and polish your rocket if you’re at a loose end.


Tickle monster

Mar 22nd 2023

It is rather ranbunctious at times but it is a jolly good laugh and the titties are vulumtious!

Get here early

Barry Trevaskis

Jun 22nd 2022

Avoid the only bar on the beach, it’s the collection of sheds and skips in the middle run by an grumpy fat bloke. Bring your own picnics and enjoy the rest of this stunning beach like us locals. You’ll experience a true Cornish paradise.

Simply the best

Aug 31st 2020

I’ve never heard anyone complaining about litter on the beach.

Inbred Northerners

Cornwall Anti Tourism Department

Jun 22nd 2022

Please stay away,you poorly educated northern monkeys just wander from Wetherspoons to Burger king then back to Junction for more fags and tinnies,that’s what you cretins do at home. There’s no need to pollute Cornwall .Head to benidorm where drunken sunburned morons are welcome.

Terrible beach

May 14th 2022

Dog poop everywhere. People drinking and smoking. Litter at every turn. This beach has been neglected as its used by locals.

Nudist Paradise

Walter Wall

Aug 27th 2020

Best nudist beach in the country with miles of golden sand

Great fishing

tim newcombe

Jan 21st 2021

Have had some of the best catches here from Cod, Turbot and Tope.
Fish low tide in use blow lug

Ok for Curdles (my insulting name for Cornish folk!)

Joe Northern

Nov 05th 2021

You lot stay down there, us northerners will stay up here & spend our money locally. You think you’re so smart taking the piss, your only form of income is from tourism. I would love to see how you inbreds cope if “normal people” stayed away!

Yes, very funny Jonty Haywood - Not

May 06th 2022

1. emmet = ant - derogatory term for a ‘tourist’ (see > wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmet_(Cornish).
2. grockle = little clown - derogatory term for a ‘holidaymaker’ (see > wiktionary.org/wiki/grockle).
3. tourists put food on your plate & in your ‘entitled’ stomach -  if it wasn’t for us ‘ants’ & ‘little clowns’, you’d all be on bread & water - and wistfully hoping that tourists would one day come, to give you jobs & income.

Show all 16 reviews